The Indispensable Guide to Flying with Toddlers or Preschoolers

With family far away, we have done more then our fair share of flying with Micah and Savannah.  We have mastered flying with them as babies, toddlers, and now a preschooler.  We even flew with Micah when he was 15 months old to Maui.  That’s 10 hours in the air, baby!  I think that probably only Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have more experience flying with kids than we do.  (Just kidding, plus they are most likely on private planes.  That is totally not fair, so we come out ahead again.)  Ben and I have our trips down to a science, but last month I flew for the first time with Micah and Savannah BY MYSELF!

Here are some tips we have learned over the years to make our trips as stress free as possible.

1.  Set really, really (really) low expectations.  This may seem like common sense, but I think it has made the difference in how Ben and I feel once we reach our destination.  We always leave for the airport expecting our trip to be a complete and utter disaster.  If it can go wrong, we try to assume it will.  Trouble getting through security?  Screaming toddlers waiting at the gait?  Sitting next to a huge, and mean looking person?  Screaming toddlers on the plane?  Blow-outs?  Screaming toddlers on the plane?  Oh wait, did I already say that one?  Our trip has never gone as badly as it could.  Some of those things might happen, but setting that expectation helps us keep our heads in the chaos.

2. Ask for special seating.  If you are traveling with a “lap infant” meaning that you did not buy a seat for your child who is under the age of two, always ask if they can put you in a row with an empty seat.  I have had various airlines accommodate that request if they can.  You will need to wait and ask this once you get to the airport.  At this point they will know what seats are going to be empty.  Alaska Airlines will even move single travelers around to accomplish this.  This gives your baby/toddler a little more room to move around, and also saves you from having to feel bad for whoever is forced to sit next to you.  The airline knows that this is a win/win for everyone involved.

3. Go ahead, bring that pack ‘n play and that car seat.  If you need to bring a car seat, but are not planning on having your child sit in it on the plane, then you can check it for free.  It is considered a necessary safety feature just like a wheel chair, and so airlines are not allowed to charge you for that.  You can buy a special bag to put your car seat in to protect it, but every airline we have ever flown has huge plastic bags you can use for free.    I have had a couple of airlines also say that they will allow you to check pack ‘n plays for free, but I would call ahead and check before you assume that it will happen for you.

Note: That is not our pack 'n play or our car seat. Just a picture I found online.

4. Have a security line plan.  Ben thinks this is a little ridiculous but the night before we fly I sit down with a piece of paper and map out who will carry what.  It is really easy when traveling with kids to bring too many bags for the number of hands that you have as parents.  Remember you probably need a hand or two for your kids, so those hands can’t have bags in them too.  I plan how we will get from the curb to the check-in counter where we will get rid of some of our bags, and then how we will get through security.  In case you are going to fly with little ones for the first time, you should know the following things about security that may surprise you, and make having a plan super important.

• You can bring liquids for the purpose of caring for and feeding babies, but those will have to come out of your bag to go through the scanner.  Those liquids will also earn you a little extra screening, so plan time for that.
• The stroller has to go through the scanner.  If it doesn’t fit, like our double stroller, then they will wand it and wipe it down to check for explosive material.
• Formula shares some chemical components of explosive material and may make something with you test positive.  They will just check you more closely.  It only happened to us once, but it made me feel great about feeding formula to my kids.  (Note sarcasm).
• You kids will have to walk or be carried through the metal detector.

Based on these things, Ben and I have found it helpful to divide up children and possessions while we are waiting in line.  That way we each know who or what we are responsible for.  This helps us get through relatively easily.  It also reduces our level of stress and chance of conflict, because no one is saying, “Where’s Micah?!  I thought you were going to watch him!”

Always remember that the TSA agents want you to get through quickly too, and we have only experienced great help from them.  I think cute little kid smiles go a long way, but picking the family lane will save you a lot of hassle.  There will be less people behind you, you will wait in line less, and those who are behind you will be more patient.

5. Board early.  When we first started flying with Micah this always seemed a little counter-intuitive.  After all, don’t we want to be on the plane with him the least amount of time possible?  Over time we have learned that the extra time to get settled, and the ability to go down the jet way with fewer people around is worth the time on the plane.  We always travel with a stroller, and that requires pausing at the end of the jet way to fold it up and set it to the side.  If you try to do this with everyone else in your section also trying to get on the plane it quickly becomes chaotic and stressful.  Most airlines will announce that they are allowing first class passengers and those traveling with children under the age of two to board first.  If your airline doesn’t, I would recommend getting in line anyway and requesting to board with that first group.  I have never had a gate attendant say no to that request.

10 points if you can tell me who these people are.

6. What to bring on the plane.  There have been a few key items that we have found most helpful to keeping the kids entertained while flying.

               1. Portable DVD player ~ it goes without saying that this is an excellent idea.  We wait as long as possible to pull this out so that we can get the biggest bang for our buck on this one.  You will need head phones.  Otherwise the flight attendant may ask you to turn it off.  We know from experience.

2.  I make sure to load up on “treats” that Micah and Savannah don’t usually get to have.  This usually means Gerber treats from the baby section at Target.  These are too expensive for every day eating at our house, but the kids get super excited about getting to eat them on the plane.  Nutrition rules go out the door on the plane.  You want even more raisins?  Okay!  You can eat as many as you want if you stay quiet and happy!

3.  Travel sized Magna Doodles, or Doodle Pros.  One for each kid.  Lots of fun with no mess.

4.  Color wonder coloring books.  Once again, lots of fun and no mess.  Winner winner chicken dinner!

5.  Books that the kids have never seen before.  I used to go to Half Price books and buy each of them two books that they had never read before.  Now I just go to the library.  I make a list of everything I pack in their fun bag so I make sure we come back with those library books.  Micah really likes these Good Knight books right now.  They are fun little stories and always teach some kind of lesson about manners, or how to be a good friend.  They are authored by Shelley Moore Thomas.

6.  Small toys.  Both Micah and Savannah like playing with little trucks on the plane.  Small dolls are great too.  Not great?  Balls.  No matter how small they are, they will get thrown and probably hit someone in the head.  We have learned to just leave those at home.

Obviously every kid is different and you know what your children will get excited about.  The most important thing is to have  a lot of stuff so that you can keep pulling new things out of that bag.

7.  Step away from that full can of Diet Coke!!  I get pretty excited by the full can of diet coke they often give you on planes, but with kids it is a BAD idea.  Planes move around enough on their own, threatening to spill your drink, but add a toddler sitting next to you and spillage is almost a guarantee.  Ask for a cup or don’t get anything to drink at all.  Actually when flying with the kids I usually just ask for water, and chug it down right away.  That last think you need is pop all over yourself or your kids.

8.  Juice  If you want to get your kids juice on the plane, the flight attendant will fill up your sippy cup for you and they will even dilute it with water if you ask.   Also if you need water for a bottle while you are flying, the flight attendants will heat it up for you and everything.   Ahhh, all the comforts of home.

9.  Getting off the plane.  Most people want off the plane as fast as possible once it docks with that jetway.  If you are running late for a connecting flight then this tip is not for you.  However, if you have plenty of time or have reached your destination, consider hanging back a little.  After a long flight with possibly cranky kids the last thing you want is trying to get yourself, your kids, and your carry-on off the plane only to have to pause to pick up your stroller, load your kids into that stroller, and re-situate your bags while blocking others trying to get off the flight.  By the time you land, chances are that your fellow travelers are less than thrilled with you.  So if they are running late, or your kid kicked the back of their seat one too many times, they are not going to be happy if you block half the jetway getting yourself situated.   We have found it most helpful for us to wait until most of the people are off the plane so that we can take all the time we need to get going.

10.  Last but not least, don’t forget to bring a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself.  Is there a special treat that helps you feel better when you are feeling stressed?  Bring it!  Although remember that you will probably have to share it, so make sure it is kid appropriate.  Red wine is probably not the best thing to try to get through security.  They are going to know it is not for your baby.  Magazines or books are good to have too.  I have often fallen into the trap of thinking that I will be plenty occupied on the plane with keeping the kids quiet.  It is in those situations that Savannah falls asleep, Micah decides to quietly watch a movie, and I am suddenly very bored.  I always try to bring something simple for me to do; knowing that I might not get to do it at all.

Flying with kids can be stressful, but with a little planning it can be a fairly smooth experience.  And remember, no matter what happens, and no matter how awful your kids are in the end the plane will land and you will be at your destination.  Just like child birth, flights don’t last forever.  If you survived that, you can certainly survive this!

Now it’s your turn!  What tips or tricks do you have for flying with your little ones?  Any toys that work wonders?  Treats that keep them in their seats?